our social infrastructure is what is prohibiting women from being free from the stereotype that women need to have a slim figure in order to obtain "respect" and attention from men. although women will not be on an even playing field as men for a long while in many aspects, the problems they face in regards to their mental social power and their physical social power are being recognized by society. campaigns for ads similar to the new dove true beauty line are attempts in recreating the idea for what a true woman of this age looks like. the problem with this is the fact that they are changing this idea by saying "these women are normally unwanted because of their body structure and appearance in modern day society, but you should try to be like them to change it, and take a big risk". this is a double bind because they are saying both "be like this" and "this is ugly". and because they are making these ads for skin cream, which ultimately implies the need to look younger, which is what our society is based off of. because in american society, something we need to keep hidden to the outside world are "the imperfections that are a part of us all" (Minkowitz). This is why it was such a shock when the show Xena hit the mainstream so well, especially since she showed qualities previously considered negative for women to have. typically, women in the media are judged to a fault, being criticized for trivial some things like smiling too much or being too fat. Many actresses "worried about looking 'overmasculine'. No woman television character has exhibited the confidence and strength of the male heroes of archetype and fantasy--or if she did, she was a one episode fluke" (Minkowitz), which furthers the trend of thinking of women as unconfident, nervous, self-questioning beings. Xena possessed all the qualities of a male leading figure, along with her own special personality traits. this type of personality along with a female dominated lead isn't generally accepted by males or, on occasion, females when supervised by "parents that object to Xena's feminist content" (Minkowitz). the normal trend of viewers to leading roles that are female shy away from men, at least that's what the conventional wisdom is among producers of children's television. each industry tries to appeal to the audience they think is watching, which in some cases are predominantly men. in these cases "alternate social types, such as sensitive men, gay men, and househusbands, scholars, poets, and political activists are noticeably absent" (Strate). These ads provide to men, sort of a social guidebook to becoming male, and anything seperate from these ideas is wrong and bad. therefore, women, who have few of these qualities since the ads try to exclude them, are looked down on in the aspects relating to the power of their bodies and minds.

Who's to blame?

Our society has been very much influenced from past civilizations about who makes the best parents and who are worthy of respect. dating back many years people have considered women as the primary care givers although men are the ones that define the family as a whole. this notion is called pater familias, which means father of the family, showing that the male figure of the household, no matter the age, is the representative of the family simply from his gender. this idea goes back to roman times and beyond as it is the most common form of definition of family in most societies now. people are considered unfit to be parents if they show traits that are not attributed to positive characteristics in society. women are supposed to be feminine and weak, since they are the mothers and are supposed to take care of the children in their own private sphere. yet, if men show these same characteristics it is not so embraced. gay men are generally associated with having feminine characteristics, so with the logic that society has been using, gay males would make the best mothers, yet it is illegal for them to adopt children because they are uncomfortable with homosexuality and anything that challenges the nuclear family. one way of preventing the adoption of children by homosexuals is by prohibiting their marraige so that if something should happen to one of the parents, the other will lose custody because they are not recognized by the law as a union. society makes us believe that having a gay child is the worst thing ever, worse than death, basically. they portray the image that if there are gay parents then the child will be gay which has no scientifical basis or justification. as said in Sexual Dissent and the Family by Nan D. Hunter "for millions of parents, learning that one's son is gay or daughter is lesbian would be their worst nightmare". we have been brainwashed by the media and politics to think anything challenging the status quo in regards to the family is wrong, and therefore illegal. this is another example of if we find something foreign and unnatural, we exclude it from being a possibility because we are scared. this same concept of the feeling of uneasiness when there is something different present that challenges our previous thoughts is also seen in the household regarding gender roles and assignments. as we studied in class, women and men are typically confined to their certain areas: men are outdoors, women are indoors. because of this idea that women are only allowed to take care of the domain of the house and men are supposed to take care of his domain of the physical labor. it puts a feeling of unnaturalness in our minds when we break free from these barriers. as people leave their domains associated to their specific gender society pressures them to conform back to their own tasks since they feel out of place where they are. this is how things become genderized, such as jobs and the magazines we looked at in class. they constantly showed men in outdoors areas with outdoors clothing with no children or with only their sons as if they were going on a manly expedition. while women are generally labeled by being with their children with no male figure or 1 distant one. this shows the power that men have over their household and that men have freedom to do mostly whatever they want and won't be looked down on for it. they can leave, stay, abuse their wife/children, and wreak havoc and their actions will solely be contributed to the fact that it is his nature, which goes back to the ideas we had before. WOW it all connects!

Another Inconvenient Truth

our civilization and society revolves around the idea of all for one and one for all. this idea takes many forms in our culture from the economy, to work, to the household, along with our perceptions of ourselves versus our neighbors. we constantly pair ourselves against others in order to feel as though we have power and are more individualistic to prove we are able to function in society. the reason we do this is to conform to the characteristics of strength and lack of dependence on others. as it is considered weak to have to rely on others in order to survive and also it is frowned upon, if you are a housewife, to not produce "a full-time career, thriving children, a contented spouse, and a well-managed home" (Introduction). this idea goes back in time to the 1950s when women were supposed to be pious, pure, and submissive housewives, taking care of their domain: the household. the problem now is that women these days cannot possibly take care of all of these things, along with being productive at their jobs, since women are also supposed to hold jobs to be socially acceptable. this is exactly the problem: the image that women are supposed to achieve is constantly being changed by men, this therefore, is where third world country women are involved. these women "achieve their success only by assuming the cast off domestic roles of middle and high income women in the first world---roles that have been previously rejected, of course, by men" (Introduction). as first world women are expected to succeed in the workplace more than in the household, there is still pressure for them to take care of their family, just not as strong. because of this new expectation, women's previous jobs in the household are now looked down upon as unfit for "even women", as though these jobs didn't merit respect before, so now those who do them recieve even less. these jobs are another form of placing women, regardless of race, in subservient positions that place them on a lower social level than men, because of their work. although they are known as women, these third world workers would "make the house-hotel room perfect, feed and bathe the children, cook and clean up---and then magically fade from sight" (Introduction). They are in fact considered less than woman, since they are not presentable in the public forum although the work they do is necessary for our lives. this goes back to my previous point of us not relying on others to help us with our work, due to pride or whatever it may be.